A child has a mother and a father, just the way they are. The parents cannot be other than who they are, and they needn’t be different than they are. A man and a woman become parents, not because they are good or bad, but because they have a bond as a man and a woman. That’s the only way they become parents.
Children, therefore, have to take life from their parents as it is given to them. Parents cannot add anything or leave anything out, nor can their children add anything or exclude anything. Life must be taken from the parents as it is given.
In Bert Hellinger, Gabriele Ten Heovel (1999). Acknowledging What Is. Conversations With Bert Hellinger. Zeig, Tucker & Co. USA